I know who is waiting for me
by Blues
Summary: a very dark and angsty story. Draco thought he would taunt the captured Harry, but he hadn't counted on Harry looking forward to death. WARNING. suicide themes, no slash


I don't own - so don't sue me   
  


Rated - R 

Very angsty and dark 

Suicide-themes 

Mention of abuse and torture.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


I KNOW WHO WILL BE WAITING FOR ME.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"Well, who have we here?"A familiar drawl sounded from across the cell.   
  


Harry didn't have to turn his head to see that it was Draco.   
  


"The great Harry Potter, bound and broken, at his knees..." Draco moved to stand in front of his nemesis. He looked down at the 15 year old Gryffindor, triumph written all over his face.   
  


"How does it feel?"   
  


Harry didn't answer, he was to tired - to exhausted to even look up.   
  


"I asked you how it feels." Draco repeated angry at the fact that Harry dared to ignore him.   
  


"ANSWER!" He kicked Harry in his stomach, and the boy curled into a ball, a tortured moan escaping his sore throat.   
  


"How does it feel to know that you lost, to be humiliated in front of all your enemies. How does it feel to be 'the boy who lost'?"   
  


Harry spit a bit of blood on the floor and coughed.   
  


"I feel wonderful..." He whispered and looked up through his broken glasses at the boy towering over him.   
  


"I feel wonderful - you can't imagine."   
  


"What?" Draco laughed uncertain on how to react to this unexpected answer.   
  


"I am going to see my parents soon..." Harry whispered and rested his cheek on the cold and moist stone floor of his cell.   
  


Draco just looked at him. "Damn right you are, and you can tell them how you lost and how they died in vain and..."   
  


"I don't think I lost..." Harry said silently trying to roll over to find a more comfortable position, but there aren't that many ways to lie comfortably when your hands are tied behind you back.   
  


"You don't think you lost?" Draco snorted in disbelief.   
  


"No... I think I won today, for the first time in my life I think God smiled upon me."   
  


"Because the Dark Lord is going to execute you in front of the whole wizarding world because of your stupidity? Oh yeah I see now." Draco laughed contemptuously.   
  


"I think God meant for me to let me take the burden. I saved Ron and Hermione by giving myself up, and I didn't loose - I won the freedom of my friends, and though he is going to kill me... I don't see what all the fuss is about."   
  


"You want to die?"   
  


"No, I would love to be able to live with my friends and have fun and do all the things I never got to do... but still..."   
  


"Still what?" Draco started to feel uncomfortable.   
  


"I am going to see them again. My mum and dad." Harry's eyes had a dreamy look in them. "I never really knew them, only from pictures." Harry closed his eyes a single tear sliding down his cheek to mingle with the blood.   
  


"I had to spent ten miserable years with the Dursleys. Ten years with humiliation, starvation and beatings, and when I finally reached school you couldn't even let me enjoy it throughoutly. But it doesn't matter now, it will soon be over and I will catch up with all the love I never got to experience."   
  


Draco didn't know what to say. He hadn't expected Harry to be so relaxed about his execution, much less to be open about his emotions.   
  


"I will see them again very soon, they are waiting for me - I can feel it." Harry sighed and smiled against the hard floor.   
  


"No more misery, no more Voldemort, no more trying to protect the ones I love without being able to, no more Dursleys, no more nightmares, no more snoopy reporters trying to ruin my life, no more staring at my scar, no more people praising me for something I never did, no more waking up screaming every single night drenched in cold sweat... no more pain."   
  


"No more friends either!" Draco gloated.   
  


"Oh, I am not losing them" Harry said very seriously looking up at Draco. "You know, my friends - in contrast to yours - are real friends, death is not going to change that - I will be watching them from where I am going. See them grow up, fall in love and live the life they deserve. See them beat Voldemort and free the world from evil and live happily ever after... and then someday they will join me and we will have an eternity to make up for the maybe 100 years we had to part. In the mean time I will have my parents, and we will make up for the childhood I never got, and Sirius and Lupin will join us later, then my friends and..." Harry shed a tear then looked up at Draco.   
  


"Don't you see I have no regrets? I will miss some years with my friends but I have so much to catch up with my parents, and where I'm going those years wont feel so long."   
  


Draco started to feel a knot in his stomach, but didn't say anything. He just looked at the boy at his feet. So innocent and sad - he looked completely peaceful even though he was covered in blood.   
  


"I miss them..." Harry closed his eyes and sniffed - his eyes were so sad and yet he smiled.   
  


"I miss them, but it wont be long. I am going to see them again, and I don't care if I miss some of the years on this site... I am going to meet them again, and we will have all the time in the world to catch up..." Harry smiled closing his eyes again. He couched up a mouthful of blood once again and tried to make his sore stomach stop convulsing.   
  


He rolled a bit to the site wincing when the ropes bit into his wrists, he then looked up at Draco. "You don't understand." He just stated.   
  


Draco tried to look his normal evil self but didn't manage to unfurrow his brows. "... no, I don't understand." He agreed confused.   
  


"My life was never really happy, not even at Hogwarts. There was always something missing, a piece of me... I miss my parents. I miss a hug, and soothing words when I wake up from the nightmares, and someone to cry to, someone in front of whom I don't have to pretend I am strong." Harry swallowed a lump. "I miss my parents, and you will never understand why death seems so appealing to me. Though your father can't be the most loving parent in the world you still don't have that empty void."   
  


Draco couldn't answer, he wanted to leave, he didn't want to hear this. He had imagined the conversation to be completely different.   
  


"Death is just another big adventure Dumbledore told me once... and I am glad he never found out I have thought so much about going on that adventure before I was supposed to. He wouldn't be happy if he knew I thought about letting go of my broom... I so often went to the astronomy tower at night in my invisibility cloak and looked at the stars. Saw them twinkle down at me and imagined them to be my parents looking over me."   
  


Harry blink and another tear trailed down. "I thought about if I should just make the jump and my parents would catch me and the pain would stop... but I never dared... I thought about Sirius, and Ron and Hermione - they would think it was their fault and ask themselves what they could have done to stop me. So I didn't jump, I was too scared and proud, and it would have been selfish of me - and I thought that maybe there really was a better future waiting for me... but now I see someone had other plans for me." Harry looked up at the ceiling.   
  


"I am leaving now, and they wont think they let me down. They will miss me, but we won't be parted that long and though I can't be with them as they live their lives, I will still be watching their every step." 

"It will be a very long and painful death!" Draco tried to sound his normal evil but his voice trembled slightly.   
  


"I can endure that. I know who will be waiting for me on the other site, when my body finally let me go... not long now - and I will finally be free..."   
  


Draco looked into those brave eyes of his nemesis. Saw that tiny ray of hope that still shone in them, and Harry offered him a sad smile.   
  


And then Draco left.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


TBC ?   
  
  
  


I don't know - what do you think? Should I stop here, or let him die so he can finally reunite with his long lost parents... it's just that I hate death-fics... but if I let him live wont he still be depressed and have to live a sad life even though he will have his friends?   
  


Tell me what you think. 


End file.
